Sadistic Girlfriend Say What?
by YouCrashedMyHelicopter
Summary: Percy and Annabeth are having relationship troubles. Again. Meanwhile, the Nicos are waging war, and it doesn't help that... The Aphroditets are stalking everyone... T cuz We cuss a lot. And there's a kiddnaping in there... And angsty teens... Read now!
1. Chapter 1

**This is me and my friend Jenny writing. We are very bored so…. Don't expect any normality…**

**Disclaimer: We don't own anything except our laptops and our boyfriends, but they don't count due to the fact they're fictional.*sob***

TawniePOV

"What the hell are you doing?" I screamed at Nico.  
"Dying Sonny's hair green!" He exclaimed.  
"Why is she unconsiouse?"  
"She didn't agree to the plan!" Zora Crazied, falling out of a heating duct.  
"If you get any green on anything I personally will kill you."  
"Wouldn't that chip you nails?" Weird unnaturally blonde girl. Run or hide? OFFER ZORA AS BAIT!!!  
"Ahhhhhhhh!" I shoved Zora at5 the girl and ran out of the room. I need frozen yogurt!

Anabeth's POV

15 minutes earlier

"How many Half-bloods are here anyway?" I asked.  
"As far as I can tell, a lot, *I'm surprised there hasn't been a massacre yet." Grover replied.  
"So what's the plan?" I inquired.  
"You trick Zora into following you, Grover tells Gradey he knows an awesome enchilada place around the corner, and I romance Sonny into going on a Pegasus with me." Percy responded self confidently.

"I'm gunna kill you, Seaweed brain." Ugghh…… Boyfriends *eyeroll*

"I love you too, Annabeth."

"Hate yo-.' I was interrupted when he kissed me.

"Just this once." I agreed

"Works everytime."

"If you weren't such a good kisser I'd…"

"Kill me. I know."  
"Oh if you wouldn't just jump into a fountain and heal youself I defiantly would…."  
"As much as I love the love fest." Grover cut in. "We have a massacre to prevent."  
"We'll talk later." I promised. One kiss wasn't going to keep me from killing him.

Sonny's POV:

"Why the heck is my hair green? And why the hell…o is Zora in some random girl's arms?"

"Grady and Nico." Said Tawni.

"Tawni." Huffed Zora.

"Nice hair." Smirked the strange girl.

"And who is SHE!?!?!" I screamed  
"Oh yeah, that. I'm Annabeth."  
"And I'm Jackson, Percy Jackson."  
"Oh I love this part! I love this part!" Two random girls yelled, hoping up and down happy claping.  
"Who are you?" Annabeth cried.  
"We're the authors! Do what we say or we'll kill you off!" The blue haired one yelled happily.  
"Ahhhh! Too many new characters! The pain!" Gradie fell to the ground and curled up.

"Well…." The blue haired one said

"Say something about the way the story ends and I will kill you." Said the Pink haired one, hitting her friend over the head with a nerf gun and knocking her out. She grabbed her feet, smiled, and dragged her unconscious friend away. Okay, not entirely unconscious, she sat up and said "We'll be watching you." And with that, she lost consciousness again, fainting.

"Well…. That was really… random." I said.

"Hey, Zora I know a really cool explosive store…"

"Great, I need more!"

_She's a crazy, not another one._

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! We'll come to!" Nico and Grady said.

"Yaaaaaaaaay! Shopping!" Tawni said.

"uggggh… Maybe I can find the antidote to the green." Scoweled Sonny.

Percy looked at me. "What about the plaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn?" he whined.

"Shut it, Seaweed brain."  
"What did you call me?!" Sonny cried.  
"Not you, him."  
"Are you two like, dating?" Tawnie asked.  
"Not anymore."  
"Nooooo!" Percy dropped to his knees "I summon the power of Posiden to avenge my broken heart!" He raised his arms to Olympus.  
"Oh shit, not this again, the last time I was permanatly wet for a month."

"What?" asked Sonny.

"Let's just say, personal tsunamis… not a good thing., but it's better than Nico trying trying to get revenge on me… I'd be dead by now."

"Why would I kill you?"

"Not you, another Nico, actually the one I'm talking about is like, 12."

"OOOhhhh… does he like explosives? Is he hot?

"Ummmmmm…. His favorite activity is raising the dead. And I don't know, I was taken by Seaweed Brain when I met him…."

"No one fear, Chad Dillan Cooper is here, Woah! New characters, holy crap! Guy almost as hot as me… I must kill HIM!!!!"

"I'm surprisingly hard to kill….. Just ask that Titan guy, oh wait he's dead."

"Wow, Seaweed Brain, you don't take breakups well, don't you?"

Chad's POV:

_Okay… now that guy's just scary._

"Woah, bro it's cool. No sweat!"

"The cafeteria has GREAT enchiladas!" Grover yelled as he entered the room.  
"And you are?" I prompted.  
"Awesome."  
"Woah I am too!"  
"Percy Annabeth, we ready to go? There's a mob coming to you."  
"Oh, yeah, you're the pro at this! Do your thing!" Percy guy yelled, "I'll go take down the mob." And he left, pulling a pen out of his pocket. What was he going to do, falsify my signature?

Percy's POV

_I can't believe Annabeth broke up with me, That's the Third time this week, and today's only Tuesday._

I pulled out Riptide, a good fight was just what I needed.

_Crap. That's a shit-load of monsters._ I uncapped my pen, and it elongated into a shimmering bronze sword, but I knew I wouldn't make it through this mob, as much as I hated to admit it, I needed Annabeth to help me with this, even Styx wasn't going to help me now.

"Gods, Seaweed Brain, lost without me, aren't you?'

I'd never been gladder to see an ex-girlfriend in my life.

"You wish!"

We fought our asses off, and won. Grover bundeled everyone past us, saying something about an explosives store, C.D.C looking very confused. _Son of Aphrodite if I ever saw one._ I smirked.  
"This is so going to chip my nails!" Tawnie cried. _Daughter of Aphrodite fo shizzle _

_Hey boss._ I heard Blackjack say, as soon as we reached an alley. Sure enough, He swooped down , 3 friends in tow.  
"O-m-geee! Pegasi!" Tawnie yelled.  
_Seriously boss?  
_"Yes." I said to both blackjack and Tawnie. One problem, we made flight arrangements earlier that morning, so I was planned to be on blackjack and Annabeth was with me.

We didn't expect an extra person, but that person saved my ass.

"Damn, Percy, what are you doing here?" I jumped.

"Nico? What are you doing here?"

"Visiting my pops. What are YOU doing here?"

"Celeberity Demigods."

"Yo Annabeth, G-man, What's up?"

"Not much."

"…."

"Annabeth, seriously, What's up? You look like you just broke up with your boyfriend."

"You're really observant Nico."

"What'd Percy do this time?"

"Tell ya later, Nico, you can ride with Percy and Chad."

Nico's POV

"Chad?"  
"Me." A blond said.  
"Oh, you're on that show 'McTavish Trips' right?" Goth kid asked.  
"It's Mackenzie Falls and its won 290 tween choice awards!" He yelled.  
"Well this is going to be a fun pegasis ride." Percy muttered.  
"I have a rock, it is black, like my soul." Goth kid said, maybe that would shut them up.  
"You're hot." Some girl with pig tails told me.  
"I think I'll shadow travel…"

"Nico, that'll just make you really tired."

"I don't give a damn, and you shouldn't either. Besides with _him_ and the fact that Pegasi hate me, I'd rather not."

"They don't hate you…"

_Yeah, we do. The dude smells like dead guys._

"Don't worry about me, Percy, I'd wind up killing_ Cad Dilly Cooer_ any ways, this is better for everyone."

'Except me…" said Zora in a small voice.

"Two can shadow travel, just don't let go of my hand." Zora grabbed his hand, and they melted into the shadows.

Nico POV (Emo hades dude)

"So, do you like explosives? And revenge?" Zora asked as we entered the woods of Camp Half Blood.  
"Both are good. I'd guess you're a daughter of Nemesis." And right on cue, the word _Revenge _shimmered above her head.  
"I think my mom's name is Cathy."

"Then you're not my type… shame. Oh, and I have to kill you."

Zora pulled out a catapult of some kind, and a stack of ham.

"Try."

"How'd you fit that in your pocket? You…You know what? I don't wanna know. Oh, and one more thing, I think you might just be my type… maybe." And then Nico, yes, Nico, (goth emo dude)smiled.

Percy's POV

"What's up with you and that Zora girl?"  
"Let''s just say a think Hades might become a grandpa…"  
"God! I'm can't tell if that's perverted or sweet…"  
"It's both…"

**From Lindsey (Blue haired girl who wont stay down): So….. Yeah…. That's it so far…. There might be some guy on guy action and someone might get eaten by 'Leary soo… heres Jenny…**

**Jenny (Pink haired violent girl) Yeah…. There will be more Percabeth and Channy and Zico… R&R…. ! Sorry about the spazzing. No flames please. **


	2. My Life Would Suck Without You

**So did you like? Did you? We're still bored so, moar updates!!!!!! Yaaaaaaaayyy! We still don't own anything, well Lindsey owns a nerf gun and I know how to knock people out with them, so we're good.  
XOXO  
-Jenny &Lindsey**

**Song for Chapter: Popular (Musical Wicked), My life Would Suck Without You, And Damn You Look Good and I'm Drunk (Scadelous) Sexy Chick, in case you didn't know, the last one's by Cobra Starship**

Annabeth's POV

"Why'd you break up with that hero Percy?" I jumped. I didn't know the Aphoroditets could be stealthy.  
"He was flirting with another girl." I replied.  
"My mom's been sleeping with Ares for thousands of years and she and Hephe-whatever are still married." A different Aphroditet bubbled  
"And my trip to Denver a few years back show exactly how well that's working out."  
"We want to help you and Percy get back together." Another said happily. There were 9 of them circling me. I pulled out my knife.  
"I don't want to get back together with him."  
"Although you protest, we know clandestenly you want him back." An older one said.  
"No I don't."  
"You just need a makeover." One insisted.  
"And makeovers are our speciality." Another boasted.  
"I don't want to use this but I will if I have to." I held my knife bravely.  
"No you won't." One took my hand and lowered it. "Now let us help you." And so the group pushed me into their cabin, which I had only seen in inspections, they forced me down onto a bunk. Then everything was a blur of makeup being caked onto my face, and clothes being pushed at me so I could try them on.

PercyPOV

I sat sadly on my bed, wishing for Annabeth. My fountain caught the light and glistened, reminding me that I could watch her. I walked over to it and flipped a coin into it's mist. The coin only went through. Blocked. Where is she? I was shocked out of my thought when there was a knock on my door.

"I'm going to help you." Chad guy announced coming through my door.  
"We're being forced." Both Nicos said in sync and shrugged.  
"What do I need help with?" I asked.  
"We saw her dump you, we're going to get you back on the horse. I saw Tawnie eyeing you." Chad said. Ugh, blonde Aphroditet.  
"I don't want to hang out with Tawnie." I replied.  
"Pfft. You should. She is fiiiiiine." Not goth Nico said.

I felt mildly creeped out. "You guys are crazy, I'm flipping in love with Annabeth My life sucks without her! Damn the fact she's amazingly hot!"

All the other guys were staring out the window. I joined them and saw what they were staring at.

"Damn." Goth Nico said, "If I weren't in love with Zora, I'd agree with you."

"Damn." The other Nico agreed with him.

I was speechless. Annabeth was… girly hot. Miniskirt and all. My jaw was touching the floor. Damn.

Annabeth's POV

Knock. KNOCK.** KNOCK.**

"Gods! The door!" I opened the door of my cabin, and saw…. PERCY?!?

"Oh. What the hell are you doing here? Ya know what? I don't care. I missed you, Seaweed brain." Then I pulled him in and kissed him…. Sigh… he's an amazing kisser. Damn the fact tha he was flirting with Sonny. It wouldn't happen again, or I would (just maybe) find a knife and stab him in his sleep.

Jenny: Yay! End of chapter! Not, yay! End of chapter, but, yay! We should write some more! Oops, where's the Channy we promised… better get a move on that! Over to Lindsey.

Lindsey: Relax! Anniewoodles said maybe! Real sugar Pepsi is DA BEST!!!! Well, I g2g write another thing so, Jenny, anymoar parting words?

Jenny: Yeah. Cookies are great for sugar highs.

Lindsey: Goobye to the Great and Terrible 2009, hello god-damn AWESOME 2010!

Jenny: Amen to that sister, amen to that!

Lindsey: Okay, Poll time. What's your fave song that was in the top ten for 2009? And if it's any Disney channel star's song, you are BANNED from LIFE

Jenny: Consider that a warning. A WARNING!!!!!!!

Lindsey: Now off my precious butternut squash! Review!

Jenny: See that little green button at the bottom of the page? Click on it, type, submit and you get a free cookie. Don't and you won't. I call this R&R.

Lindsey: I call it not getting murdered by raccoons.

Jenny: Evil little woodland animals…

Lindsey: Shut up! I want the last word!

Jenny: ….

Lindsey: That's better.


	3. STOP DOING THAT!

**Hello. We're still bored. Here we go. Okay, so the main funnieness in this chapter was Lindsey's Idea. Most of the hilarious stuff in here was her idea cuz she's just funny by nature.**

AnnaboodlesPov (btw, if it says annaboodles/woodles it's most likely lindsey's doing.)

"Knock Knock Enter." A girl said from the door. It opened. Me and Seaweed brain broke up our awesome makeout session.  
"Crap, This wasn't a good time to walk in." One said, Ithink her name was Jenny….

"we knew this was happening." The other said. "So, Annaboodles, you and seaweed head ar4e back together…"

"Are you an aphroditet or something?" I ask.

"You use that word too?"

"We made it up together, remember?"

"Right, that was an awesome time at the undersea palace…" He sighed.

"Yeah… Wait! We never went to the undersea palace!"

"Then it must have been that other girl…."

"What other girl?!?" I shreaked.

"Oh shit. I'm single again aren't I?"

"Damn strait." **A/N Jenny! These are new shoes!**

"Ouchy." The girl who called me Annawoodles said.

"You're just making this worse Percus, now shut up before we kick you in your Percus!" Said the other one. **A/n Lindsey! Shut up w/ the naws!**

"I call on the powers of Poseiden to avenge my broken heart!"

"Stop DOING that!!!" Hah. Here comes dad. Poseiden looked pissed. Really pissed.

"Oh… Sorry… Didn't think you'd mind…"

"I wouldn't, but you've done it 9 times this week, and it's Tuesday! In fact, your love life has nothing to do with me! Athena agrees! ACTUALLY, she doesn't! She thinks Annabeth SHOULD JUST PEMANANTLY DUMP YOU AND GET IT OVER WITH!" I stuck my tounque out at Percy, turned around, and stormed into my cabin.

Once I got into the cabin, I lay on my bed and started sobbing.

"You're making the story depressing, stop it Annaboodles! I'm Lindsey!"

"Gods and essess, we're goin' have to send you to Calypso's island…"

POOF!!!!!

"Huh. That actually worked."

"Jenny, you just can't poof Annaboodles to a random island!" The Lindsey one yelled

"B-b-but-"

"It's fine, let's go eat cupcakes."

POOF!!!!!!!!!!!!

And they were gone… Aww shit.

"Greetings hero. Wait! You're a girl!" A girl cried.

"Thanks for noticing." I replied.

"Why are you here?"

"2 teen girls said I was making their story depressing."

"And this is Calypso's island." Non-goth Nico gestured broadly

"You!" Calypso yelled.

"Take my hand!" Nico yelled to Zora.

"Why?" zora asked.

"Cause C hates me and she's a bitch when she's mad."

"I shall kill you and dance on your grave!" Calypso exclaimed. And with that, Nico and Zora dissolved into the shadows…

"Not again!"

LINDSEYPOV

"Hey Chiron?" Me and Jenny called.  
"Yes?" He asked. "How'd you mortals get here?!?!"

"We're not mortals, we're authors!" I yelled.

"And the difference is?" He prompted.

"We have more power over you. Now do you have any cupcakes? It's a matter of life or death."

"That depends, who's life?"

"Hey guy wassup?" C.D.C walked up.

"Dude, you're white." My partner in crime reminded him.

"His." And with that, I grabbed Chad by the neck, and using my mad skill, he couldn't move.

"Meh." Chiron said.

"Chad!" Sonny yelled.

"." Jenny said, "Choose, Sonny, cupcakes or the boy?"

"Well, Cupcakes are sweet but Chad's hot…" Sonny pondered.

"You really have to consider this?!?!?!"

"Just hand us the cupcakes."

20 minutes and one broken nose, knife stab, and black eye later

"I didn't know I could punch that hard!"

"Lindsey, let's just grab our cupcakes and leave."

**Sonny's POV**

"Chad, I'm so happy you're safe!" I was, but a cupcake holdup seemed very un-dangerous right now, and I started to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"They-wanted-cupcakes!" I gasped out, then stopped when I saw his clear, blue eyes staring into mine, then, me, the daughter of Demeter, kissed a son of Aphrodite.

**Did u 3 it? Did you? Did you?!?!?!!?!?!?!? I bet you did! Who liked it? You liked it? Who's a good reader? You are, if you review!**

**Yeah, review, REEEEVVVVIIIEEEWWWWW! Remember the cookies!**


	4. Aphroditets make a plan Oh crap!

**In order to write this chapter, we had to listen to "Breakeven" by The Script like, 20 times, so enjoy it!!! Enjoy it!!!*MAKE ROOM FO THE SHROOM***

**Disclaimer: Don't own Squat.**

**Random Aphroditet's POV**

"Everyone know the plan?" some porcelien blond called

"As sure as I know that red and green clash when it's not December." Another replied.

"Good… Plan Percybeth feeling guilty is going into action… now! Go Go Go!" The first yelled. Everyone ran out the cabin door, 2 carrying speakers and iPods. It's the perfect plan.

PERCYPOV (Lol this is gonna be weird…)

I looked at my footprints in the sand. A wave came and washed them away. The were like me and Annabeth's love. Obvious for a moment, then just memories.

_What am I s'posed to do when the best part of me was always you?_

I heard from behind me. OMG! It was that song that Annie blasted from her cabin that one time I broke up with HER.

_And what am I s'posed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?_

Then I had TH BEST IDEA EVER.

ANNIEWOODLESPOV

I stared at the books, all neat and shelved in alphabetical order, some collecting dust, others shiny and new, but all unopened for a while, but they had once been loved by her, but she now hated them. Like Percy.

_I'm falling to pieces, I'm falling to pieces._

The song, that song. My song, my song, the song I played when he broke up with me.

_Ya say bad things happen for a reason._

All the books were there, all the pieces of my life, all the pieces, all except the part that truly mattered. The Percy part. If I didn't have that part, I might as well have none of the parts at all.

'_Cause when a heart breaks, it don't break even._

The first book was the easiest to rip, then came the rest. They all had to go. But then came the brown book with the title "Love" a picture of a laughing me and Percy, splashing in the lake. I opened it. A scrapbook.

_I'm falling to pieces. I'm falling to pieces._

I crumpled to the floor, warm tears falling on to the hard-wood floor.

CHIRONPOV

LOCATION:UNKNOWN (BAR IN KUNTUCKY)

"So, did you fall from," Then I gasped, "There's a disturbance in the universe! Some one in the Athena cabin is destroying books! Sorry, I gotta go."

NICOPOV (Goth one)

"Nico nwas my name first!" I yelled.

"How old are you? 10?" The Faux Nico retorted.

"12. But, I've been alive for like, 60 years." I replied. Then TFN yelled some very unpleasant things at me.

"Yeah? Well you're a bigger one!!!!" I screamed back.

"fine then!" He yelled, storming out of the cabin.

"Who the HELL is that?"

"Oh, Hi Clarisse. That's Nico."

"Why is half the camp on fire?"

"Nico a son of Zeus, and he and I had a _leetle_ argument."

"How little?"

"Only half the Underworld came to try kill him."

"Better than the ones you've had with Percy…"

"Yeah…"

Zora came up and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"Hey babe."

"And who the hell are you?"

"Clarisse, meet Zora, Zora meet Clarisse."

"Yo. Nico, is this your girlfriend?"

"Yep. Speaking of girlfriend, Annabeth and Percy are at it again."

"Not again."

"They're going to have to rebuild half of camp AGAIN."

"Due to the war of the Nicos, they already have to."

"Wonderful. "

**Jenny: Thought we got overly serious on you, huh? Nope! Hey, what ever happened to R&R? Just do it! Please!**

**Lindsey: Do it. The raccoons WILL come, they WILL!**


	5. Potatoes under EVERY pillow!

**Is anyone even reading this? I bet not. Yeah, so…..**

**PPOV**

Do do do do do do dodo do do do dooooo dodododo The ochrestra in my head played. I was dressed in all black, stelthing it up. I tippity toed to the Athena cabin, were all the camp's nerds were slumbering. I had a plan. Not a very good plan, but it was a plan… The potato sack on my back was lighter now that I had put a potato under everyone in camp's pillows. The only thing the bag contained was chloroform, that was floating in a ball due to my awesome magical sea god powers. The Athena door creaked open, but still, the geeks slept peacefully, Annabeth however, rolled over. I tiptoed over to her and her eyes flashed open, quickly, the floating ball of chloroform floated over and knocked her out.

**APOV**

It was dark, and quiet, and my wrists were tied, I could tell that without even moving them. I flashed back to the previous night, the dram of percy and I riding pegasi above the clouds, above the want of the mortal world, then it had turned into me on my bunk, grogy and Percy wearing all black, smiling at me.

**This was all Lindsey, Jenny was to fascinating with a glowing glass rose. I know, Kind of weird……….**


	6. Do you trust me? No

**I'm back, and more badass than ever… In case you're wondering, I think a broke the rose… the lights on the fritz.**

**Disclaimer: NO OWNAGE HERE!**

**NicoPOV**

Angry sons of Zeus are really dangerous, but, angry daughters of Zeus who are huntresses are even more so.

"I have a what?!?"

"A brother, gods."

Thalia looked at me. "Get me an apple!"

I obeyed, she could be quite a bitch when she was angry, and I wanted to avoid that.

"Place the apple on my _brother's _head." I did that, then understood what she was going to do. Damn. The other Nico was screwed, seriously screwed.

**Thalia POV**

I turned to My brother. "Nico, how much to you trust me?"

"Not at all."

"Good." I turned away from him, drew my bow and knocked an arrow, then looked away and fired. It was a perfect shot, sailing straight through the apple, and hitting the Ares cabin behind him. I smirked, Clarisse wasn't going to like that one bit.

His jaw was on the ground I smiled, then put away my bow, grabbed my arrow, and as I headed to the archery range, turned my head and said, "And that, little brother, is why you never underestimate a girl."

**Seriously, never underestimate a girl. Nighty-night! *Passes out from sleep deprivation***


	7. Einstein's theroy of insanity

**Okay, so, if anyone's even reading this you're probably wondering, Where's Grady? If you aren't, you should be…**

PPOV

"Annie!" I yelled happily.

"WTF?" She yelled back.

"What do frantic unicorns have to do with anything?"

"Hey Anniewoodles, how'd you get off of Calypso's island?" One of the authors asked, popping out of thin air.

"Oh yeah…. That… Percy that reminds me. Zeus now owns your soul."

"You sold his soul to ZEUS!?!?! What the hell?!?!" the other one spazzed, hanging upside down from a tree that had popped up above my head.

"I didn't want it!"

"Yes, you did!" The hanging girl said, grabbing on to the branch her legs were wrapped around, then pulled herself up onto the branch. POOF! The other one joined her, then POOF! They snapped their fingers and they were gone.

"Did you?"

"I don't know." But her eyes told all, she did want my soul.

"I don't know why you even gave it to me. I said I'd do it because you're a friend of My darling Thalia." A new person said.

"Yo Zeusey!" I yelled to greet him.

"Dude, you're white. Yes, even gods say that." Zeusydoo reminded me.

"I have a technical question. Is there a god of Afros?"

"She's a goddess actually."

"Oh."

"Yeah, Franny's not like the rest of us…"

"Oh."

**Grady's POV**

"Why won't this tree fall over like the rest of them?" I walked into the tree again. Shit.

"Einstein's theory of insanity, genius. Look it up." Creepy goth boy said, Walking past me, on the other side of the tree

"And the reason you can't knock it over is because it's a magic tree." Said a huntress. How did I know this? No idea.  
"……"

"I will kill you…

"Try. I need a laugh."

"Don't laugh. It hurts mah feelings."

**YAY! We finished and now temporarily have writers' block.**

**Also, we are temporarily being stalled by my (Lindsey's) OCD. **

**Short chapter, we know.**

**Potatoes and wonderfulness to those who review,  
Ken and Ston**


	8. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THING FLW

**Hehe look at me, updating without Lindsey's approval. I'll let her do the next chapter.**

**So... doing anything interesting right now? I mean, besides reading this pointless fanfic? No? Well, no need to get so huffy. I was just making conversation. Y'know, I bet if Lindsey was here, she'd be telling me to shut up and write. So... I guess I'll listen to her.**

**I hope you enjoy this more than an ice cream sundae with extra sprinkles!**

**Chapter Number**

**Percy POV**

Have I ever mentioned that I love canoeing? I really love it. It second on the list of things I love. The first is... well, Annabeth. Or my mommy. Or my baby blanket. Or blue butterscotch. Yes, I do love blue butterscotch. Anyways, since I love canoeing, I was really pissed off to find out that someone, undoubtedly a child of Zeus, set my FAVORITE CANOE on fire. So uncalled for. So I reached my hands to the sky, and yelled...

**Chiron POV**

**Location: Unknown (I bet you can guess)**

"Now where was I..."

"MAY THE POWERS OF POSEIDON AVENGE THE LIFE OF MY CANOE!"

"Oh, gods. I should probably deal with this."

**Annabeth POV**

Oh for the love of all things Frank Loyd Write, what was that?

I raced to the canoe lake to find my idiotic boyfriend crying over the ashes of his canoe.

"Look, seaweed brain. It was an inanimate object. It can't die." I said to the back of his head.

"Actually, Annabeth it can." Chiron galloped up, bow slung over his shoulder.

"It can?" Oh, gods save us. It was that clueless daughter of Demeter again.

"Yes. I believe the newest quest of yours is to rescue the canoe,"

"Camryn." Percy interjected.

"Rescue Camryn. Now chop chop, to the oracle. I haven't completed a pick up line all day. I need to get back to Kentucky... I mean... Olympus! Yes. Olympus."

**Tee hee. It was short. But better than nothing, no? Alright, he are your potatoes. Now review! I believe it's breeding season for raccoons and they are even more feisty then!**

**Sincerley,**

**Jenny (Ston)**

**and Lindsey, although she had nothing to do with this chapter :)**

NOTE FROM LINDSEY: This was, in fact, written without my knowledge.


	9. In which the plot is introduced

**Hi, it's Lindsey. Generally, I write real stuff. This is not it. Jenny is not here. Maybe I'll introduce a plot. Maybe. **

Anabeth POV (Her name's Anabeth, right?)

"Are you sure the Aphroditetes killed your canoe?" I questioned.

"Cindy." Percy corrected, "and yes. I'm positive. Her corpse smelled of nail polish and lip gloss."

As w pushed out the screen of the Aphroditet's cabin, three things occurred to me.

First, Percy was insane

Second, there was a part of him- and I didn't know how dominant that part might be- that thought his canoe was sentient.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

I was broken out of my introspection by the Aphroditet's squeals. "Finally! You admit you love him!" One shrieked in joy.

"I thought you said they weren't in there!" I accused Percy, "And that was a soliloquy! The audience could hear it. You could not! You're all characters! Minor, nameless characters!"

One of the aphroditets began to respond, but was promptly interrupted by a puff of smoke. Out of the puff, a single girl appeared, looking exhausted and angry.

"You know what? This is all freaking nonsensical fluff! As ½ of the author, I will not stand for this! Bring in the plot ninjas!" She shouted. Then, it hit me. She was one of the authors.

No sooner had I made the realization than the plot ninjas came slamming into the cabin through the screen windows, bringing with them the inexplicable sound of shattering glass.

Percy drew his sword as the Aphroditets coward in the corner.

"You can't fight the plot ninjas!" The author shouted, disappearing. Two of the four ninjas straightened from their crouches.

"You two!" One shouted at Percy and I. "You are now together. Forever. The plot needs to get past the two of you being idiots about it."

"But- But- But-" Percy stuttered.

"No!" The other shouted. "Also, the rules of either this universe, the whoniverse, or the buffyverse apply."

"Chose one and start acting like it!" The other agreed.

"Now, you're quest is to protect this penguin!" A penguin appeared out of a puff of smoke.

"Why?" Percy questioned, "Is he a demigod penguin?"

"No! He's just a normal penguin!" The ninja shouted.

"Annnndddd... The mafia's after him. Have fun, kid." And with that, the ninjas disappeared in much the same fashion of the author, leaving the penguin behind.

"Well, at least now, we have a plot." I shrugged optimistically.

**This section has gained us 5 points. By the way, Jenny, check your email.**

Chad POV (Unrelated time)

"Hey Zora, have you seen Sonny?" I inquired, shooting the pigtailed girl one of my signature white toothed grins. I caught my reflection in a window as I did so. I couldn't help but stare. Damn, I am attractive.

"Oh, she got kicked off the show. Remember, the eating disorder-self harm fiasco? Network doesn't want her." She shrugged, going back to her work of hitting a tree with a hammer.

"Yeah, but she should still be _here _even if your stupid show is over."

"SHE'S NOT ON THE SHOW!"

**That's it. Now there's a plot. With a penguin. Damn, I'm a good author.**


End file.
